Crawling My Way Out
of my flop era
What do Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Bradshaw Season 5, and myself all have in common?
Okay, well, actually, now that I think about it, probably quite a bit. BUT — what I’m getting at is — we’ve all had a flop era, and I’m going through another one right now (my first probably being a decade ago when I had to move back in with my mom).
However, just like Carrie and Lindsay, I will bounce back!!! I feel very fragile and exposed but equally humbled and determined.
I thought I’d share some ways that I’m slowly crawling out of the deep hole I dug for myself (more on that another time), and so far, I do feel a little better. I’ll take any win I can.
Putting on a song that makes me feel good, or brings me back to a time I felt my best. Feel free to hit play while reading the rest of this! Really, I’d prefer it.
First and foremost, forcing self-care. Even if that means skipping out on social plans. This will look different for everyone, of course, but for me, it includes:
Trying to go to bed early
No smoking (anything)
Diligent skin care routine
One drink per week max
Sweating my ass off in hot pilates/yoga
Lifting heavy weights
Extra protein
Ultrasonic cavitation
Wood Sculpting
Red light therapy
Restructuring my hectic & demanding work schedule
Crying
Kisses :)
Monthly facials
“You know, for being in your so-called flop era, your skin is looking great,” my aesthetician joked while dermaplaning layers of hair, dead skin, and sadness off of my face this week. I just finished telling her how and why I think I’m flopping, which surprised her, because she said from an outsider’s perspectives, it looks like I’m “killing it.” I could see what she means by that, but I assure you, I’m not.“Your flop era is someone’s slay era, so I hope you remember that,” she emphasized. Wise words to remember!
Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat by Katherine May.
“We are in the habit of imagining our lives to be linear, a long march from birth to death in which we mass our powers, only to surrender them again, all the while slowly losing our youthful beauty. This is a brutal untruth. Life meanders like a path through the woods. We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall from us, revealing our bare bones. Given time, they grow again.”
I like that May kind of turns our flop eras into something that seems natural by referring to them as “winter.” If you want to read more quotes by her (I really recommend it), here are some good ones.
The Zone of Interest — God. I’ve thought about it every day since I rented it. I’d usually advise not to watch gut wrenching movies when you’re already going ~through it~, but I don't know, sometimes it’s necessary. It puts things in perspective. The movie revolves around the true story of a Nazi Commander’s family living on the grounds of Auschwitz, simply pretending as if there’s no genocide occurring right next door (sound familiar?). The commander’s family is smelling flowers and swimming and laughing while others are murdered on the other side of their garden wall. You don’t see any of the pain or suffering (but just a warning, you can often hear it happening), yet it’s still extremely effective. I’ve never seen anything like it before.
Ordering the dessert! Tiramisu and espresso from a tiny family-owned Italian restaurant! No explanation needed.
Tossing (reselling) all of the clothes that no longer fit me or vibe with my personal style. Two racks of clothes in my closet are now completely empty, and it feels good to declutter. I’ve been holding onto a lot, too much, both literally and figuratively.
I kept the items and silhouettes that I think flatter me most, even if they seem a little more simple than what I used to wear. I think that’s a metaphor for something. I’ve never embraced a “capsule wardrobe,” but it’s time to try something new (in many aspects of my life).
I’ll see you on the other side,
Sav xx